Switching Gears
Sometimes inspiration can come from the strangest places. While many changes in life are so subtle that we don't notice them until they have accumulated over time, occasionally life will smack us in the face hard enough that it is impossible to ignore it. That happened to me recently, today I will tell that story.
Just over eight years ago I lost my Dad to cancer. That sent me down a downward spiral that just became my life for several years. Small habits changed, my interest in my hobbies either went away or changed completely. That event both saved me and ruined me at the same time.
I know that sounds confusing so I will try to explain. I gave up some bad habits. Over the next few years I gave up tobacco use, I nearly removed alcohol from my life, I lost over 50 pounds, and I generally started taking better care of myself. I made a couple positive career moves and learned to be a little more savvy with my tech. I started writing in my free time as well as started a podcast. Most importantly I spent a lot of time focused on my family and my marriage.
However, there were also some changes that I now see as negative. I cut myself off from any friends or acquaintances. I gave up on all of my previous hobbies. No more hunting or shooting, no more fondness of knives, flashlights or other gear we use on a daily basis. I simply lost interest in many of the things that I enjoyed before his passing, these were all things that we enjoyed together.
The Turning Point
On January 3rd of this year we lost my father in law. That was only three weeks ago and I'm still trying to wrap my head around how that has affected me. One thing I know for sure is that it woke me up. That event was a strong reminder for me about my own mortality. This makes me feel selfish to say, but hearing all of the stories and thoughts about his life at his memorial made me consider what my own memorial might sound like. I didn't like the result of that thought process.
A very important part of this story is the impact both of these men had on me. At any given time, I had my differences with both of them. Even though we didn't always see eye to eye, both of them supported me and my ideas. I will forever be indebted to them both and can only hope to carry that legacy forward.
So now it's time to continue life on my terms. No more searching for myself. No more bouncing from one idea to another in some odd search for self improvement. I have a good life. I have a good situation. I have some very specific skills that my father passed down to me. Going forward I will share my gifts and experiences with not only those I care about but also others who may be into these same things.
In the future, expect a lot more discussion of guns, knives, and other tools that interest me. Because knowledge and use of those types of items will always be a part of me. Sharing that information and supporting like minded people is what makes me who I am.
